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It's the second MiltCentral.com competition!

Do you have a cold sweat away from your computer? Do you find yourself browsing the guestbook into the wee small hours? Does your heart jump when you seen a new vid up? Did you cry when you saw "The Odds"?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you may well be a MiltHead! MiltHeadonism is a highly contagious yet apparently harmless condition. Doctors have suggested that MiltHeadonism may lead to increased heart size, lower stress levels and increased attractiveness. Find out how badly you are afflicted by performing the following self-examination! The most MiltHeadonistic entrant will be treated immediately with exclusive & fabulous MiltCentral gifts...

You can enter more than once - but your first entry is the one that counts! Find out the results in MiltNews! Good luck!

MiltHead Examination!
No calculators, abaci or sun-dials may be used!

First Name *
Last Name *
Email Address *
City (for the Map of Love!)
Country (for the Map of Love!)


1) Where was Milton born?

Hampton
Trumpton
Scrumpton
Milton Keynes

2) Who performed the Lumbar Puncture? (The operation, not the hot disco classic!)
Dr Jonathan Ale
Dr Simon Lager
Dr Philip Beer
Dr Harf Alarga

3) What is the name of the nurse in the "Bottom Line"?
Missy
Anjala
Anne-Marie
Jo

4) Which guestbook member lives in Ruma, Illinois? (If your name appears here, look out of your window and check!)
Karen
Sharon
Darren
Baron Rudolphe von Stückfartz

5) In the "Neutropenics" video, who performed the interlude music before "Leuka"?
Frank Zappa
John Zorn’s Naked City
Neil Sedaka
Ludwig Van Beethoven

6) How do you spell Leukaemia?
Leukeemia
Look Ear Manner
LoukAhhhminorey
Leukaemia

7) What does Freud do in the Christmas single?
Makes the tea
Paints the trees
Talks about his birds and bees
Cuts the cheese

8) What is the name of the plastic contraption in Milton's chest?
District Line
Hickman Line
Spiderman line
Fireman line

9) Which line in "Wish You Were Here" is made up?
"Heaven from hell"
"Can you tell a green field?"
"A life in the dark"
"Hot ashes for trees"

10) Milton has an unsightly mole on his face. Where is it?
Smack bang between the eyes
On his right side of his chin
On his left cheek
At the end of his nose

11) In "Turn The Other Cheek", Milton says that the "bee-sting" of an L-Asparaganese actually feels like:
A bee with a shotgun
A bee holding a machete
A bee on steroids
A bee with a license to sting

12) Approximately how many adults in the UK are diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL) each year?
6
60
600
6000

13) In the "Save Me" video, what line does Milton sing when the thermometer is put in his mouth?
"We made a perfect plan"
"How I loved you, how I cried"
"I love you till I die"
"I’m cold inside, I have no real intent"

14) What is Tim's parting advice on how people live their lives in "Tim's Story"
"Enjoy your life, eat well and keep healthy."
"Live life to the full, do what you can and keep your balls cool."
"Live large, walk tall and be nice to everyone."
"Stick with a job you hate, smoke, and spend your entire life complaining about, but not improving, the world."

15) Leukaemia is cancer of...
White Blood Cells
Red Blood Cells
Prison Cells
Sex Sells

16) Which symphony features at the end of "An Ode to my Cancer"?
Hay Iwa's First
Beethoven's Third
Mahler's Tenth
Mozart's 235th

17) Which card does Milton pull out by chance at the end of "The Odds"?
Ace of Spades
Joker
Poker Instructions
Tesco ClubCard

18) Which of the following does NOT appear in the "That's Christmas" video?
Sydney Opera House
Acropolis
Niagara Falls
Grand Canyon

19) Where does Bridget teach?
Oxford University
School of Rock
Radley College
Trumpton College of Flatulence

20) What colour chemo has Milton not had yet?
Fluorescent Yellow
Emerald Green
Ruby Red
Ocean Blue

21) What is the chronological order of bum cheeks needled in the series of L-Asaparaganese videos?
Right, right, left, right
Left, right, right, left
Right, left, right, left
Left, right, left, right

22) What is the colour of the outermost tips of the tendrils of Milton's famous hat?
Green
Yellow
Orange
Purple

23) In "Leukaemia Blues", how much trouble is the chemo going to deliver to the Leukaemia?
A lorry-load
A truck-load
A bucket-load
The mother-load

24) Which fellow patient appears at the end of the "That's Christmas" video?
Dorothy
Tim
Qamar
Eileen

25) At what age was Daniel from Sheffield (in the guestbook) diagnosed with ALL?
4
8
12
16

 
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